Why monkeys shout during s3x:

To investigate the purpose behind these calls, scientists at the German Primate Center in Göttingen focused on Barbary macaques for two years in a nature reserve in Gibraltar.

The researchers found that females yelled during 86 percent of all sexual encounters. When females shouted, males ejaculated 59 percent of the time. However, when females did not holler, males ejaculated less than 2 percent of the time.

To see if yelling resulted from how vigorous the sex was, the scientists counted the number of pelvic thrusts males gave and timed when they happened. They found when shouting occurred, thrusting increased. In other words, hollering led to more vigorous sex.

What a job. Counting pelvic thrusts in macaques. Is this a top-ten, or bottom-ten science-related occupation?

And of course, no article would be complete without an accompanying thread at Free Republic, complete with pics:

Next study: 45% of Monkeys Who Scream During Sex, Faking It.

and...

The thread is quite tame.

I suspect that everyone fears the mods for all the great posts that we know can be made.

ick.

Look what I found:

http://www.euprim-net.eu/network/courses/downloads/presentations/course3/5b_fischer.pdf

Same researcher. Check out the bubble caption in the 2nd slide. Awesome.

I think Andy Dick did a skit about being the scientist that got to collect animal ejaculate. He had a refrigerator full of labeled jars, "ah, here's horse, and gorilla, and..." *picks up anonymous jar* "oh whats this," *dips finger in and tastes* "oh, thats right, crocodile, gotta mind the teeth on that bad boy".

Actually I don't know if that is exactly what he said, but that is pretty much how it went.