Literally, in this case, given the name of the high priest.

I wish I'd thought of this:

I keep reading about how hybrid cars and compact fluorescent lightbulbs can reduce the production of greenhouse gases, but I have yet to see an article about the savings that could be achieved if we were to stop delivery of newspapers and magazines and do all of our news reading on line.

Hey, I think it could rival toilet paper usage reduction as a solution to the problem. Maybe even beat it.

Hey, now I'm thinking dual-use here. I'm a genius (no need for applause in comments, but you know you want to...). It's not just for training puppies and parakeets any more!

Newsprint is one of the largest components of trash in landfills. Filthy stuff. The EPA should classify it as a pollutant.

Magazines too? And how would the ladies smell the latest perfume on line? Or the guys look at that amazing picture of Turlington in the latest Vanity Fair while comfortably perched on a toilet seat?

My butt is too good for typical MSM newsprint. Wipe with that and you get a bad case of BDS.

However, I would wipe on Cheryl Crow's sleeve. Just to see her face.

Man, that's now one of my three wishes. Thanks for inducing the mental imagery!

The singer-songwriter-conservationist motto:

One squat, one square, no disgust, my behind.

I wonder how much of a "carbon footprint" the Gorey film has left? I'm surprised he didn't insist on environmentally-friendly packaging, instead of the plastic case I see piles of it encased in.

Newsprint is one of the largest components of trash in landfills.

And telephone books. Armchair environmentalists think plastic is worse than paper because paper decomposes. But scientists have taken cores from landfills and found newspapers from the 1950's which were perfectly readable.