Is it really true that a man offering a woman a seat on public transportation is creepy?

Then call me a neanderthal creep.

Offering a seat to someone who needs it, is civilized, not creepy. It's only creepy to barbarians.

Member of the creep squad, reporting for duty. I open doors, give up seats etc. because I was raised by the kind of mother that DEMANDED such behavior from her 3 sons.

Now the flip side, I recently had the "opportunity" to be eating in a restaurant where a girls high school softball team was celebrating a win. They were milling about the foyer of the restaurant post meal, I wanted to get out and I said, "Excuse me, Ladies."

One of the mothers, the one who was the loudest all through the meal, spins around when I said that and spits out,"...why did you fart!?" Scowl on her face, eyes flashing daggers at me. I have no idea why, they looked like ladies to me.

I simply said, "No I did not, and I was speaking to these ladies here."

Well that broke up her young charges and they were laughing as I left through the now cleared door. I'll treat anyone fairly and with respect, until they prove they aren't worthy of same.

I like the response from SoylentSquirrel:

"but then I moved to Texas and found a concept I'd never been introduced to:

Upon exiting an elevator, allow the woman/women to exit first, no matter what their order of entry was into the elevator. If they are at the back of the elevator, stand to the side. Block the door open with your arm, if necessary.

I like the manners in Texas; it reminds me of California back in the '60s. The 1860s, that is."

Darn tootin'. I never stopped being a gentleman, even when I lived in NYC. A formative part of my childhood was spent in England, with tales of dering do by knights in shining armor, and right makes might, and women are treated like ladies. So chivalry was inculcated at an early age. I later delved into classical French literature and learned the refinements of courtoisie.

I always use ma'am (or miss) and sir. Lots of pleases, lots of thank yous. It's how you can tell the non-native/naturalized folks here in Texas, they're not as practiced at it. And it's one of the many reasons I've adopted Texas as my home state and am completely naturalized. I also extol the virtues of Texas goodness whenever I travel.

One NYC subway note: my practice was to not sit in the subway so long as any woman was unseated. I wasn't 100% true to that, but generally so. Women do need to get straight that men are supposed to go into revolving doors first to get them started, so that the woman will have to put minimal/no effort into passing through.

I've never understood why women would choose to lower themselves to our level. They just need to get back up on their pedestals where they belong.

;-)

(Quickly runs for nearest cover)

American women have suffered greatly because they bought into the "Feminist" crap that encourages them to be like men. With that they lost their true power, their femininity. But the Asian women haven't. As opposed to the contentious demands of the "feminized" western woman who competes like a man, the Asian woman will get her way, but the guy will believe that it was his idea all along. It's a win-win. The Dao says, "there is nothing softer than water, but water can level a mountain." That's the power of femininity.

Umm... does anyone with actual masculinity read GQ?

She probably just realizes that such acts are condenscending and out-moded. Only sexist men with out-dated sexist values would give up a chair for a woman.

I'm with you, Ed. Who reads this crap?

I've never expected a man to give me his seat; in fact, when I was younger I gave my seat to old ladies more than once. Still would, if I were ever on a bus or subway again. Mama raised us right.

BUT, I wouldn't be insulted if a man offered me his seat. I'd thank him, and probably take it if he looked in better condition to stand up than I am, particularly if I had a long ride. Even if I didn't take it, I'd thank him first and then say something like I'm getting off at the next stop or I've been sitting at my desk all day and need to stand up for a while. I'd make sure he felt good about the offer; the next woman might need that seat.

I hold doors for people of either gender if I get to the door first and see someone coming behind me. It's called courtesy.

One thing about elevators, guys. PLEASE just get off if you're in front and it's your floor, instead of squeezing everyone else to let some woman in the back off first. That's not chivalry; that's nuts. If you're in front, get off. Sure, hold the door if you know others are getting off, too, but please get off first if you're in the front. Thank you.

When I was younger, I offered my seat to anyone who needed it more than me, such as younger women with a kid or 2 in tow or older men. More than half the time I got a polite refusal.

I don't think it's rude for men not to give up their seat for a healthy woman in her 20s or younger. Conversely, I think young women (teens, certainly) should give up their seats for old men. Yeah, that'll happen.

"Upon exiting an elevator, allow the woman/women to exit first, no matter what their order of entry was into the elevator."

That's just plain stupid. People closest to the doors leave first. Otherwise women have to squeeze by men for the "courtesy".

Feminists don't still complain about men opening doors for women as well, do they?

Of course, here in Texas everybody opens the door for everybody.

Those who complain about common acts of courtesy are also often the ones who complain about how rude society has become. Courtesy is a lubricant that eases the frictions of society. It is a sign of respect and consideration between strangers. Who in their right mind could be against that?

One can only wonder what Rosa Parks would have thought of this...

When I was 14 (1984) or so, I was walking into a department store near Christmas time and this woman in her late 30s - early 40s -- rather overladen with packages -- was moving toward the door from the other stide, so I waited and held the door for her.

She shoots me this look and says -- with pure vinegar -- "I can get the door for myself, young man. I don't need your help."

I let it slam in her face. And then she was really pissed. I still feel good about that.

I see (from the free republic blurb) that GQ has etiquette tips for "sleeping with your friend's ex". I wonder if that is before or after that person became an "ex"? These things need to be treated so delicately.

Well Karl, according to the Man Laws, you can't sleep with your friend's ex ever ... unless she's really, really hot, in which case you've gotta wait six months after the breakup.

MAN LAW!!!

When is it okay to offer your seat on the bus to your friend's ex?

Well, Rand, since you asked for it....

You are a Neanderthal Creep.

But if so, I like and respect Neanderthal creeps.

I've opened doors for guys struggling with large parcels, or hordes of kids, or both. Any woman "eating for two" deserves extra consideration. War veterans get my thanks in addition, I don't open doors for them because of their incapacity, but as a mark of honour, respect and thanks.

But it's nice to have some guy open the door for you. Gosh, we have enough problems with glass ceilings and hierarchical organisations designed for male minds. To have such polite respect though takes all the sting out of it, while we quietly try to make organisations a little less gender-specific. Two women each doing half the hours and getting half the pay of a guy can both have a life outside work, and also be at least as productive as one guy of equal ability who burns himself out doing 60 hour weeks, often too exhausted to be working efficiently.

Who know, maybe some guys wouldn't mind that type of life too. Where work is part of life, not all of it.

Pathetic Earthling...
She shoots me this look and says -- with pure vinegar -- "I can get the door for myself, young man. I don't need your help."

I let it slam in her face.

And so you should have, she asked for it. Literally. You were just being considerate of her wishes.

However... some advice. Women's perception of men depends on their hormonal cycle.

When we're early in our cycle, we find guys more attractive who are sensitive and caring. As we reach peak fertility, the ruggedly handsome, even Neanderthal look floats our boats. And just before menstruation, the best looking guys are the ones with daggers in their backs and on fire while being crushed by a steamroller.

Of course, we don't expect much politeness from guys whose football/baseball/whatever team just got not just beaten, but thrashed.

We all have to make allowances.