OK, I'm busy, but never too busy to post something like this:

Former Judge Donald D. Thompson, a veteran of 23 years on the bench, is on trial on charges he used a p3nis pump on himself in the courtroom while sitting in judgment of others.

Over the past few days, the jurors have watched a defense attorney and a prosecutor pantomime m@sturbation. A doctor has lectured on the lengths the defendant was willing to go to enhance his s3xual performance.

The white-handled s3xual device sits before the jury box for hours at a time. Occasionally an attorney picks it up and squeezes the handle, demonstrating the "sh-sh" sound of air rushing through the contraption's plastic tubing.

This has to be one of the most pathetic trials in judicial history.

I know you'll be shocked to hear this, but the Freepers are having fun with this story:

"Approach the bench" has never sounded so scary.

This guy has had a terrible impact on the profession.

Ever since this story broke, whenever I'm in court, and a judge smiles, I wonder: Is he buying my argument or is he washing the golf balls?

Honestly, it's not mine!
This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby!

I've sat on a jury involving sexual assault. A witness for the defendant tried to convince the jury that the victim was a sexual deviant that m@sturbated with a Raggedy Ann doll. For emphasis, the witness held up such doll and began posing it in suggestive positions. It was all we could do to keep from laughing. Rule of thumb, when trying to claim someone is deviant, don't perform deviant behavior as a demonstration.