Drudge is laughing at these loons, and their failed Fitzmas. He's particularly hard on nutball MSNBCer Keith "Tinfoil" Olbermann.

[Update at 10:45 AM EDT]

The black crepe is out at Kos. Read this, and particularly the second comment:

I don't think I've ever seen such a look of misery and dejection on the face of my daughter as I just did a moment ago. She just couldn't understand why the President would be going to Iraq when so many things are wrong in this country. "Doesn’t Mr. Bush care about us anymore?" she asked pitifully.

I sat down with her on the sofa and (as calmly as I could) tried to explain to her why the President seems to be abandoning his country. "Honey, I think his boss, Mr. Rove, sent Mr. Bush out of the country in order to keep himself out of the newspapers. You see, he wasn’t sure if he was going to be arrested today or not, and so he planned Mr. Bush’s trip ahead of time just in case...”

I tried to keep my voice steady, but it became increasingly difficult - the rage and feelings of helplessness were just too much. I think my daughter could tell something was wrong. I found myself at such a loss for words - nothing made any sense; nothing makes sense anymore. I finally had to admit, "Honey, I just don't know - I don't know what's going on in this country anymore..."

When I finished her lower lip started to tremble and her eyes began to fill with tears, "Daddy" she said, "why are the Republicans doing this to the country?" Well, that was it for me: I finally fell apart. She just fell into my arms and we both began sobbing for several minutes.

For once she had to comfort me and get me back on my feet. Sometimes I just think it's too much, but seeing the strength in my young daughter's voice helped me to get through.

You know, you have to have a heart of stone to be able to read this and not laugh out loud. I'll confess, regretfully, that I wasn't up to the task.

Consider--odds are that this is not a troll parodying the site--it was almost certainly typed with a perfectly straight face. You can't parody these people any more. It really raises the bar for us Internet satirists.

[Via Wizbang]

Looks like you are incorrect. They can indeed be parodied.

From a reply to that comment:

This is getting old.

Crying with your daughter on the sofa again? Like on April 19? or April 27th? or May 11th?

It is always the same post! Enough with the lip beginning to tremble and eyes filling with tears.

My bet is some sensitive soul posted the template some time back, and it's been mercilessly recycled ever since. And with the sig "Bottle-feeding newborns is like forcing them to smoke cigarettes.", you know this troll is loaded for dKos bear.

Now, I see the permalinks for the comments. Here is the reply to that troll. The troll responds and Wisper's reply is hilarious.

I don't think I've ever seen such a look of misery and dejection on the face of my daughter as I just did a moment ago. She just couldn't understand why the President would be going to Iraq when so many things are wrong in this country. "Doesn’t Mr. Bush care about us anymore?" she asked pitifully.

Giving the author the slightest degree of credibility, it seems this man has raised his daughter to see the government as a religion and the president as God's representative on Earth. That's a very sick view, IMO. Politics is the root cause of most of the world's misery throughout recorded history. Politics has been called by some a "necessary evil", but to me, it's more evil than necessary.

The liberal worldview is all about feelings.

What I don't understand is the disconnect between the belief that the Republicans are evil and will do anything to stay in power including invading countries and killing people and the naive hope that such a monster would allow themselves to be indicted at all. I mean if they were as bad as the Kos folks say Wilson would have been killed long before his wife was outed.

It's almost as if they live in bizzaro world at times.

rjschawrz - Whaddaya mean "almost"? :-D

Whining liberal bed wetters of the world would be the end of us all.

How would his daughter look in a burkha?

Quote from original post: "For once she had to comfort me and get me back on my feet. Sometimes I just think it's too much, but seeing the strength in my young daughter's voice helped me to get through".....continuation of lost content to this comment

And then suddenly the door flew open straight off the hinges. We were blinded by a burst of light and deafening sound as acrid smoke filled our noses. My head spun as I looked toward the doorway. My eyes jittering uncontrollably as I attempt to see through the blind spots dancing before me. I cringed as I saw a black hulking figure stooped over and scurrying into my house - MY FRIGGIN' HOUSE. My daughter screamed in terror and I quickly snatched her up and tried to put her behind the bust of Jimmy Carter sitting in the corner. Suddenly I felt incapacitated on my left side as the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I gyrated and twisted down to the ground momentarily losing my perception of what was going on around me. Suddenly, my attention was focused on a huge boot stepping on my neck. A glove clad hand reached down and fidgeted with my hair to brush it back out of the way. I couldn't quite make it out but what appeared to be a metallic elongated device was pressed against my forehead and as the hand withdrew the device remained as it seemed glue to my head. I could hear the electronica noise of bleeps and bloops emitting from the device in a slow rhythmic cadence. As I felt my strength begin to return I began to wiggle my body and neck to twist out from under the boot. I could look up and finally see my assailant. It was a military soldier dressed up in black Special Forces gear wearing a ninja hood and dark goggles that made it impossible to see his eyes. In his hand he now held a flat tablet of some kind and he began to methodically punch his index finger onto its touchpad. As he programmed the tablet I could hear the rhythms of the chirping device on my forehead begin to pick up in cadence. As the rhythm quickened I could feel the muscles in my body begin to tense all at once to the point where they felt like they were going to suddenly burst. My body felt ridged as steel and all I could do was lay there and piss my self in fear - absolute uncontrollable fear. The soldier turned the tablet around to face me and the entire screen was flashing in red and in the middle was just one word, "TRAITOR!"

It suddenly all made sense as to what was going on. I was so wrapped up into the moment of talking to my daughter about how evil George Bush is that I forgot to put on my tin hat that I had stored in the kitchen the night before. It is well known that the nylon strips in the $20 bill are actually antennas that relay your thoughts to Halliburton's secret lab of scientist. Their satellites notify local Homeland security offices where they triangulate your position. This must be the Bush death squad I've heard scant details about in the Moveon newsgroups.

Suddenly an eerie slender person with an awkward gait came strolling into my house. As I focused on him I was terrified to see that he was wearing a George Bush Halloween mask which heightened his already spooky appearance. The tall lanky fellow walked around behind me and snatched my cringing daughter out from behind the tribute to Jimmy Carter where I thought she would have most certainly been safe. I could see in her eyes that she was beyond fear and was completely paralyzed into inaction. I wanted to scream bloody murder. I wanted to tear them apart but my body refused the urgings of my brain. I felt so helpless. Almost as helpless as when I try to order my decaf, no-whip, non-fat, latte Frappuccino and the barista seems to outright refuse to add extra soy despite how much I beg and plead when placing the order.

The tall fellow sat down Indian style on the ground next to my daughter. He presented a brown capsule and meticulously pinched the tip off the capsule. Brown slimy oil drizzled out of the capsule and he began to smear this oil onto my daughter’s forehead in a circular fashion. Her expression instantly changed from petrified fear to complacent happiness. The Special Forces solder twiddled with the controls on the tablet and I could hear the rhythm on the device lessen and some measure of control over my body return. I screamed, "LEAVE MY DAUGHTER ALONE YOU SICK BASTARDS," my body spastic and contorted with anger, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER." My daughter then calmly interrupted, "Daddy, why do you hate George Bush, the soldiers, and your country so much? George Bush and Dick Cheney do nothin but love God, Our Country, you, and me so much it hurts." I began to sob uncontrollably, they had gotten to her, they had infiltrated her with the red-nano brain cells the pharmaceutical companies have been developing to subjugate us all to the will of George Bush. She was lost to me forever. I turned my attention back to the lanky fellow who began to take the George Bush mask off. I turned white as I realized what was soon displayed. It was a Grey alien with his huge bulging eyes staring down on me in expressionless fashion. "My God its true," I thought aloud, "The aliens have come to destroy us and George Bush is their leader." The alien then reached up and touched his eyeball with its first of 3 fingers on the right web like hand. His eye began to glow like an ember and slowly continued to brighten till it reached such intensity that I suddenly found myself being unable to see anything at all except complete whiteness surrounding me. Then in an instant the glowing disappeared and the alien and the soldier were no where to be seen. My daughter sitting there in front of me was staring at me with disappointment. She simply said to me, "You know dad I just don't know why you get worked up over such things. Maybe one day you will realize that to everything there is a cost to be paid and a sacrifice one should be willing to make. The only thing worse then owing up to the price of a bad action is the one we all pay when nothing is done at all."

One must have a heart of stone to read the death of Little Nell by Dickens without laughing.
- Oscar Wilde

It's one of a series.

Here's a template, so you too can write your own Little Nell polemic:

I don't think I've ever seen such a look of misery and dejection on the face of my daughter as I just did a moment ago.

<Optional : insert the words "She just couldn't understand why" followed by a tragic tale of Republican Thuggery Ineptitude and Cupidity, then a childishly innocent question about this terrible act, and finish off with the words "she asked pitifully.". Lay the bathos on with a Trowel.>

I sat down with her on the sofa and (as calmly as I could) tried to explain to her

<Insert tale of Republican Tyranny here, including devastating effects on Grandma, Kittens and little Puppies>

I tried to keep my voice steady, but it became increasingly difficult - the rage and feelings of helplessness were just too much. I think my daughter could tell something was wrong. I found myself at such a loss for words - nothing made any sense; nothing makes sense anymore. I finally had to admit, "Honey, I just don't know - I don't know what's going on in this country anymore..."

When I finished her lower lip started to tremble and her eyes began to fill with tears, "Daddy" she said, "why are the Republicans doing this to the country?" Well, that was it for me: I finally fell apart. She just fell into my arms and we both began sobbing for several minutes.

For once she had to comfort me and get me back on my feet. Sometimes I just think it's too much, but seeing the strength in my young daughter's voice helped me to get through.

Have you ever read this?

http://peacemoonbeam.typepad.com/

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