(That title is a euphemism for having one foot in geezerhood), I don't need an alarm unless I need to get up very early after getting to bed late. I generally wake up pretty early anyway. And when I do need some external assistance, the plaintive little "beep, beep" of my watch is generally sufficient.

But when I was younger, I definitely could have used one of these: Behold, the world's ten most annoying alarm clocks.

Best alarm clock I ever had was a cat (Ivan) who would lick my ears out when it was time for breakfast (for both of us). A cat's tongue in your ear is fairly close to some coma tests and no other alarm clock comes close.