Has Drew Barrymore heard about this? It might diminish her enthusiasm.

Let the cracking of wise in the comments section commence.

I recollect a humorous bit of cowboy poetry (I'm thinking by Wally McRae) about just such an incident -- the response to which involved the poor guy getting out his pocket knife and trying to cut X's over the bite marks, "playing tic-tac-toe all over my bum."

It inspired one of my "All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned from Cowboys" rules:

When nature calls, check for rattlers before you unbuckle.

IT, happens... Shhhh.

There once was a gal named Drew
Who’s visit took her far from a the lew
Her friend, so bold dropped trow and behold
Now Drew can’t wait to poo near her shoe