Questions about John Bolton's fitness for representing the US at the United Nations were heightened today as more staffers came forward to describe his chronic abuse of his subordinates and volatile, unpredictable temper, as demonstrated in this Senate testimony:

Q: Frank, could we go back? Could you characterize your meeting with Bolton? Was he calm?

MR. FINGAR: No, he was angry. He was standing up.

Q: Did he raise his voice to you? Did he point his finger in your face?

MR. FINGAR: I don't remember if he pointed. John speaks in such a low voice normally. Was it louder than normal? Probably. I wouldn't characterize it as screaming at me or anything like that. It was more, hands on hips, the body language as I recall it, I knew he was mad.

Well, you can imagine that when I read this, I was simply shocked at the thought of such a monster representing us at Turtle Bay, reinforcing our international image as an out-of-control cowboy, hands on hips, fingers just centimeters from holsters. I decided to interview some other former staffers to see if this frightening incident was just the tip of an iceberg of hot fury. I got a few leads from the DNC, and came up with some pretty juicy stuff.

First, a "Nita Valium" recounted a fearful encounter with the fiend:

TM: So, what prompted the out-of-control incident that you experienced with Mr. Bolton?

NV: I brought some coffee in to him one morning, and accidentally spilled it on his lap, severely scalding his private parts.

TM: And how did he react?

NV: It was just horrible. He stood up, got a napkin to dry off, wiped off his trousers as best he could, and told me in a tone slightly louder than normal, that I should be more careful. I could tell he was on the very verge of shaking his finger at me. He seems like the quiet type at first, but you can tell that under that mustache, he's always smoldering, just like Hitler. You never know when he's going to explode.

TM: Was that the end of it?

NV: Later on, I heard that he had requested that someone else bring him coffee after that. He got his wish--I've never been able to do that again. My promising career as a coffee-bringer-to-John-Bolton has been ruined, and I had to settle for a promotion to a different department.

Another former staffer, "A. Peazement," related the nominee's response upon being informed that the State Department intended to recommend that North Korea be made permanent head of the UN Committee on Human Rights. He still shuddered in fear at the recollection of the incident, though it was years ago:

TM: So, he didn't take it well?

AP: No, not at all. He raised his voice almost a half a decibel, and asked me why.

TM: Did your explanation satisfy him?

AP: Well, he said it did, but you could tell he was seething. His voice had the reasonable, calm sound of someone about to explode with fury and fling sharp and heavy items off the top of the desk at you. He was starting to almost frown at me, and I could tell that he was going to put his hands on his hips any minute, but I managed to get out of the room before he could do it.

This correspondent has to ask: How did this brute manage to work in a federal bureaucracy for so many years, with no apparent consequences? How has this kind of behavior gone so unnoticed for so long? How many more sadistic fiends like this are there out there, waiting to be nominated to some sensitive diplomatic post by this bloodthirsty administration? When can we once again be led by people who have the proper temper, and temperament for power?

Hey, if it was okay for Arafat to appear at the UN armed, well, a brace of sixguns might be just the fashion accessory for nemesis of Turtle Bay.

"sixguns?" That might be too little firepower for the kleptocracy that Bolton is going to face. I was thinking more along the lines of a submachine gun and a pair of Delta Force bodyguards.

One of the people who criticized Bolton this week was a self identified conservative Republican who voted for Bush and is a fan of Cheney.

Do we want a Dan Goldin at the UN? Or someone who can get the job done?