Boy, when it comes to anti-terrorism measures and homeland security, Mark Steyn just ain't got no respect.

Geez, Mark, they're just doing their job.

But we were at the detention centre and I could tell the Secretary was impressed by the number of suspected terrorists we'd managed to cram in. He peered at their cold terrorist faces as they pressed up against the wire mesh of the cage. "Hang on," said Norm. "You've filled up the joint with a lot of nancy boys."

"That's just their brilliant cover," I explained. "They showed up at the US Air counter claiming to be the touring company of a famous Broadway production. Yet, when I asked them to name the show, they shouted, Annie, get your gun! Fortunately, we wrestled them to the ground before they could yell any further instructions to their accomplice.