A painting chimpanzee has outsold Andy Warhol.

Did you know that a great way to get rid of snakes is to burn your house down?

Maybe she should get together with the superglue guy, except he managed to actually kill himself.

[Update at noon]

Speaking of snakes, here’s a guy who brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “trouser snake.”

A man committed suicide by supergluing his mouth and nose shut.

I’m sure that there will be calls to ban its sale now.

That’s exactly what James Lileks has:

The [ant] colony continues its descent. The population was ten a week ago; now it

I saw this story, via Warren Bell, and was reminded that I was attacked by a bird when I was in Phoenix in April.

I was walking across a shopping mall parking lot by the hotel where I was staying, and felt something hit my right shoulder from behind. I turned around, and saw a bird hovering. I figured it was an accident, and kept walking, but a few seconds later, it did it again.

I was unsure what to do, but figured that the sooner I got to the mall entrance, the better, so I kept moving, though I didn’t run. I was wearing glasses, which I hoped would protect me if it started to peck, but fortunately it didn’t. It hit me one more time, and then flew back to a tree behind me. I figured that I may have walked to close to its nest. After that, I continued the walk to the mall entrance without further events, but I kept an eye over my shoulder.

<VOICE=”Homer Simpson”>
Giant snot balls…ggrrrhhhgggghhrrrrhhh…
</VOICE>

Billie Holiday sang a song called “Strange Fruit,” about lynchings in the south, with black bodies hanging from trees.

Well, there’s a black neighborhood in northern Ohio where white bodies fall out of the sky.

I am not making this up.

Forty percent of Frenchmen would like to become pregnant.

It must be part of that Gallic genius thing.

[Update at 4 PM]

The freepers are having a great time with this.

It’s not for nothing that couvade is a French word.

I also like the picture of a worried-looking John Kerry with the caption “My clock is ticking.”

Has Drew Barrymore heard about this? It might diminish her enthusiasm.

Let the cracking of wise in the comments section commence.

Just when you thought the Michael Jackson case couldn’t get any weirder, we find evidence that his new attorney isn’t averse to a little B&D.

The playful dominatrix, TAMI SMITH, tells the tabloid, “I was at the party for a few hours when I noticed this old gentleman with a great smile and white hair. I was told he was a highprofile attorney but didn’t know his name.

“I went up to him and said, ‘Down on your knees.’ I wasn’t surprised, but he immediately dropped to his knees. I put my dog collar around him, he didn’t have a problem with it.

Maybe they should hook him up with Lynddie England.