Category Archives: Weird

Meeting The Unmet Need

An atheist adoption service for pets abandoned by their raptured owners:

Whatever motivates Centre, he has tapped into a source of genuine unease. Todd Strandberg, who founded a biblical prophecy Web site called raptureready.com that draws 250,000 unique visitors a month, agrees that Fido and Mittens are doomed. “Pets don’t have souls, so they’ll remain on Earth. I don’t see how they can be taken with you,” he says. “A lot of persons are concerned about their pets, but I don’t know if they should necessarily trust atheists to take care of them.”

This paradox poses a challenge for Centre. He must reassure the Rapture crowd that his pet rescuers are wicked enough to be left behind but good enough to take proper care of the abandoned pets. Rescuers must sign an affidavit to affirm their disbelief in God—and they must also clear a criminal background check. “We want people who have pets and are animal lovers,” Centre says. They also must have the means to rescue and transport the animals in their charge. His network consists of 26 rescuers covering 22 states. “They take this very seriously,” Centre says.

It’s a serious issue, previously unaddressed. Isn’t America great? I should sign up as a rescuer.

Running Out Of Popcorn

I didn’t pop enough for Hopenchangen:

Chávez said that “the Kyoto Protocol cannot be declared dead or extinguished, which is what the US pretends to do. Which is why (President) Evo (Morales of Bolivia) tells a great truth: If Obama, Nobel War Prize, said here, by the way, it smells of sulfur here. It smells of sulfur. It keeps smelling of sulfur in this world. The Nobel War Prize has just said here that he came to act. Well, then show it, sir, don’t leave by the back door, eh? Do everything you need to do for the US to adhere to the Kyoto Protocol, and let’s respect Kyoto, and empower Kyoto, and respond to the world in a transparent fashion.”

Well, now I’m confused, because when he was in New York, Hugo said that it was Bush who smelled like sulfur. So who is the Devil? Bush, or The One? I know where I’d put my money, but I think that maybe Hugo should see an otolaryngologist about that sulfur deposit in his nostrils.