I just got an email from Kim Kardashian that her celebrity stylists are going to pick out my shoes for me. I’m so excited that I haven’t even responded to her email yet. I may remain in that state of excitement for quite a while.
Category Archives: Weird
Life In The Twenty-First Century
Actual headline: “Robot Helicopters To Hunt Pirates With Lasers.”
Apparently, no sharks involved, though.
Iranian Billionaires And Lunar Dictators
I just did a radio interview with Thom Hartmann, in which he postulated that if the proposed homesteading legislation passed, it would result in an Iranian billionaire setting up a military base on the moon from which to bombard us. Or alternately, that I would become a dictator of my own lunar colony. He also didn’t seem to understand the difference between libertarianism and anarchism.
Hokay…
Vital Research On The ISS
The space station finally earns its keep:
Compounds of unmatured malt were sent to the station in an unmanned cargo spacecraft in October last year, along with particles of charred oak.
Scientists want to understand how they interact at close to zero gravity.
NanoRacks LLC, the US company behind the research, has said understanding the influence of gravity could help a number of industries, including the whisky industry, to develop new products in the future.
And those silly people say that space research is a waste of money.
Coregasms
Everything (OK, well, not everything) you wanted to know about exercise-induced org@sms:
Because I first began org@sming from exercise at a young age, not to sound cocky, but I have perfected it! I know when my body is about to coregasm, I know what exact workout to do to achieve that feeling. I have also perfected my face so that if I do have a coregasm in the gym it doesn’t look like I am. I have never been embarrassed about coregasming at the gym because my coregasms are never unexpected or unplanned.
Now whenever I see a woman exercising, I’m going to wonder: is she or isn’t she?
An Important Anglospheric Question
Is there an American equivalent for “snogging”? Is it different than smooching? If not, then should we adopt this side of the pond?
I Think I’ll Move There
An Italian town has outlawed death.
When death is outlawed, only outlaws will die.
The SAT
I never took it, but here’s a guy who retook it at age 35. The analytic geometry question was easy for me, but I didn’t take the time to try to figure out the covered polygon. I assume I’d probably do pretty well on it, even now.
How did I get two degrees from Ann Arbor without taking the SAT? By spending the first two years at community college.
And boy, can I identify with this:
Because I work on a computer like normal human beings, I’d forgotten how painful it can be to write in longhand for long stretches of time. I know it’s not as bad as digging trenches in the Amazon, but still—it’s AGONY. Your neck gets sore from staring down. You get that weird dent in your middle finger and thumb from pressing the pencil too hard. Everything around you starts to smell like old pencil shavings. This is why I fucking hated blue-book exams in high school and college. It wasn’t that I had to study, or that I had to think on the fly. It was the hard LABOR of it all. Every time I finished a blue-book exam in school, I felt as if I had just moved a cord of firewood. Many times, I would hurry up and try and finish the essay early, just so that I could stop writing and rest. It’s amazing, when you think about it. You spend a whole semester studying for some test, and then you rush it because you just want five extra minutes to relax. That’s how my brain works. It’s not a perfect organ.
I am so fortunate that computers came along when they did. My writing volume would be a tiny fraction of what it is if I had to write long hand.
From The “Like A Fish Needs A Bicycle” Department
Women can org@sm from exercise. The yoga thing doesn’t surprise me at all. It never happens to me. But then, I never exercise.
Stu Nozette
…is likely to get thirteen years. He’ll be seventy or so when he gets out, assuming he doesn’t get out early.