I think that Jonah is overanalyzing the situation:

Also, I have another peeve. Aside from the talking bears living in a nice middle class house, doesn’t the story defy the laws of nature? If the Papa bear’s porridge is too hot, that logically should be because it’s the biggest bowl and therefore would take the longest time to cool. The mama bear’s porridge should be “just right” because it’s the medium-sized one and the baby-bear’s should be too cool. Or, as is so often the case, do I have my physics wrong?

One overanalysis deserves another. He’s basically got it right, but it depends on the shape of the bowls. For any given shape, the larger the blob of porridge, the longer it will take to cool, because of the square-cube law. The volume of the porridge (which represents its heat capacity) goes up as the cube of the critical dimension (e.g., a diameter for a sphere) whereas the surface area (which is directly proportional to how fast it loses heat) goes up as the square.

For example, a cube of porridge an inch on a side will be one cubic inch of hot porridge that is cooled by six square inches of sides (assuming it’s floating in, say, a space station, and can have all six sides exposed to air). A two-inch cube has eight cubic inches (eight times as much) of hot porridge, but only twenty-four square inches of cooling surface (six sides of four square inches, that is, only four times as much). So if you double the size of the critical dimension, you double the cooling time as well.

Of course, if you have a spherical blob of porridge, and a large thin pancake of it, you could have a larger amount of porridge that cooled faster in the latter case. If, for example, we took the eight cubic inches from the previous example, and spread it out to an eighth of an inch thin in a pancake shape, then you’d have something with sixty-four square inches on each side (a hundred twenty eight) plus the side area (an eighth times the circumference, which would be the square root of 64 divided by pi times 2pi, or 2 times the root of 64, or about two square inches). So now we have eight times the volume of the one-inch cube, but over twenty times the surface area, so it would cool much faster.

So if Momma Bear’s porridge was in a wide flat bowl, and Baby Bear’s in a higher, narrower one (perhaps with a picture of a Teddy Human on it), it’s certainly conceivable hers could be colder than the baby’s.

Porridge and bears aside, this is the principle employed when one pours hot tea into a saucer to cool it (the metaphorical function of the Senate, in the Founders’ estimation, which would temper the urges of the House).

Why yes, I am in fact avoiding writing a proposal that’s due next week. Why do you ask?

[Update mid afternoon]

Welcome, Corner readers. Just curious, though, why no comments from any of you? No one in the comments section except the regulars, so far. Does this say anything about Corner readers?

..really need to try to avoid having major figures associated with their program die shortly before big games. First Bo and Ohio State, and then Ford and the Rose Bowl.

Hey, I’ll grab my excuses wherever I can get them.

Donald Trump versus Rosie O’Donnell.

This sort of reminds me of the Iran/Iraq War in the eighties. It’s a shame they can’t both lose. Unfortunately, because it’s all about publicity, I suspect they both win.

And can anyone tell me how she ever got the nickname “Queen of Nice”?

On the latest episode in the inexplicable saga of Britney Spears, in her underwearless moment:

I have some updates on my previous post, but I have one more question. Who here really believes that Florida would have jumped Michigan, from number four to number three, if USC had won?

OK, UCLA has done their part (thanks, Jane!). Now, I’m watching to see if Arkansas can beat Florida, which will make any debate moot. If Florida wins, look for another debate over how screwed up the BCS is (which every year is a given…).

[Update at end of Florida-Arkansas game]

Florida won by ten points. Now the emotional debate (that will shed much more heat than light) over who is number two will begin…

[Update at quarter till five PM]

OK, it looks like Florida has been named number two. I have to think that’s because of the strong desire of many to avoid a rematch, rather than an honest assessment of who’s number two.

I’ll be quite amused if Ohio State blows out Florida, and Michigan trounces USC. We know from an existence proof that Michigan and Ohio State are well matched (or at least as well matched as anyone’s been against Ohio State), and provide an exciting game. If we have two blowouts in the Rose and Championship games, the country will know that they chose the wrong number two, and wondering if the real national championship game didn’t occur on November 18th.

[Update]

One more thought. I think that dual blowouts are in fact quite likely. I don’t think that Florida will be able to handle Ohio State, and does anyone think that UCLA’s defense is better, or even as good as Michigan’s? USC has been a pretender all season.

[Update]

Pete Fiutak says that the humans have taken control away from the machines:

The voters have spoken, delivering the message that they didn’t want a rematch by keeping Michigan out of the national title game and putting in a good, but underwhelming, Florida team to face Ohio State in the first stand-alone BCS Championship. While many outside the Detroit and Ann Arbor metropolitan areas may be pleased about this, there’s still something a bit hanging-chad slimy about the process.

I understand the arguments against a rematch, but I think that they should have lived with the rules they set up at the beginning of the season. I also think that Wisconsin was robbed by the two-team-per-conference rule.

I know it’s not an edifying subject, but Kay Hymowitz entertainingly dissects the cultural phenomenon that is Paris Hilton:

Now despite her fame and good fortune, for most sentient adults Hilton personifies the decadence of our cultural moment. With her nightclub brawls, her endless sexcapades, her vapid interviews, her rodentlike dog and her lack of ostensible talent, she reeks of every vice ever ascribed to our poor country. She has become a synonym for American materialism, bad manners, greed, “like” and “whatever” Valley Girl inarticulateness, parochialism, arrogance, promiscuity, antifeminism, exposed roots and navels, entitlement, cell-phone addiction, anorexia and bulimia, predilection for gas-guzzling private transportation, pornified womanhood, exhibitionism, narcissism — you name it.

The “rodentlike dog” in particular tickled my funny bone. But as Kay points out, it’s not about worship of her, but hatred. Deserved or not, she’s our Marie Antoinette.

OK, they’ve got the general region down, but they don’t seem to be able to differentiate between Michigan and Wisconsin, which is pretty weird. Just one more question (bubblers versus drinking fountains) would nail it down.

And for the record, I’m a “pop person.” Soda is a thing with ice cream.

So sayeth Zoidberg. Behold, Futurama, the movie.

[Via tdr]

It doesn’t follow the BCS rules, but assuming that USC beats UCLA next week, it makes the most sense. Have a playoff between the Trojans and the Wolverines in the Rose Bowl, and then let the winner play Ohio State on January 8th. Of course the Buckeyes would have an advantage in that they’d be rested for two months, but they’d also be rusty.