These images aren’t the whole reason, but they sure didn’t help. And they’re pretty darned funny.

These images aren’t the whole reason, but they sure didn’t help. And they’re pretty darned funny.

Evil comic genius Iowahawk has managed to quit stuffing ham hocks, corn on the cob and strong Hawkeye beer in his face long enough to discover another old teevee script from the seventies featuring that renegade authentic native American, Chutch.

Iowahawk has a tribute to Dan Rather–the final chapter of the career of Inspector Dan:

Luckily, the tubby guard at Hinderaker’s bank was asleep, and I was able to quietly duckwalk past him to the elevator bank. When I arrived at his penthouse offices, Hinderaker and Johnson were sharing a nasty chuckle, as they added another cup into their birdseye maple trophy case.

“I thought I smelled some fried MSM bacon,” laughed Johnson. “Why don’t you move along to to the Old Discredited Anchorman’s Home, Rather? We’ve got a testimonial dinner tonight.”

“Yeah, Danno, it’s a little invite-only shindig called Blog of the Year,” sneered Hinderaker. “Black tie, class all the way. Now scram, because we’re due at Gingiss for a tux fitting.”

“Why you filthy, non-journalism degreed…”

Something snapped, and I ran headlong across Hinderaker’s sumptuous oriental rug, ready to unleash my fury on the two laughing blog thugs. I soon found out that the carpet was not fixed to the polished parquet underneath, and I went sliding across the room and slammed into a bookcase. I heard birds as a 16-pound volume of the U.S. Banking Code beaned me hard on the head. Momentarily dazed, I stumbled backward, flipping over Hinderaker’s desk and lodging my head in his deadly trashcan.

“Ha ha! The funny man is funny.”

I was blinded by the trashcan, but I knew that pipsqueak voice anywhere. It was Gnat, Fargo Jimmy’s pintsized gun moll.

Breaking the Winds of Freedom. Iowahawk has the breaking details:

To be sure, the revival of People Power in the Middle East is not all due to MoveOn. We must give credit where credit is due. The people of the region have also drawn courage from other role models, like visionary filmmaker Michael Moore; respected intellectuals like Noam Chomsky and Ward Churchill; political trailblazer Dr. Howard Dean; and elected leaders like Ted Kennedy and Maurice Hinchey. These are just some of the fearless dreamers and tireless doers who show, by example, how ordinary folks can speak out up to corrupt fundamentalist dictators.

They’re blowing you and blowing me. Heh.

March 2, 2005

WASHINGTON DC (APUPI) Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN) announced today that, as part of the ongoing modernization of Senate procedures, it will be instituting a new rule of debate, to be known as the Byrd Rule.

“Standards of debate have evolved rapidly in the Internet age, with the plethora of on-line discussion over the past couple decades,” he explained. “On Usenet, there is a seemingly immutable law that any discussion that goes on sufficiently long will eventually introduce some reference or comparison to Adolf Hitler or his political party. Many newsgroups have an unwritten tradition that, at this point, the discussion can be considered to be over, with the person who made the introduction having lost the debate.”

“Accordingly,” he went on, “we are going to make such a rule explicit in the Senate, apply it retroactively to the recent peculiar remarks of the most distinguished and eloquent senior Senator from West Virginia, of whom my esteem is so high as to not be able to find the words to express it, and honor him in perpetuity by naming it after him.”

It’s believed to be the first time that this rule has been applied to a legislative body, though it has long been usefully applied in on-line discussion groups on topics as diverse as geology, meteorology, antique car collecting, and ferret breeding.

Not all were pleased with the new rule. Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) expressed great disappointment at the proposed change, and promised to filibuster against it.

“This is a destruction of the long Senatorial tradition of free expression, and give and take,” he declared, angrily.

“The next thing you know, they’ll be declaring the battle won when an aging and senile Senator rambles on about his little dog Billy. Put simply, it is a blatant attempt by these new Nazis, these little Goebbels, who have taken over our august body, to stifle debate,” he proclaimed.

I just got this as an email signature from an email correspondent who was sending me an attachment:

“Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: ‘Mankind.’ Basically, it’s made up of two separate words – ‘mank’ and ‘ind’. What do these words mean? It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind.”

With another beloved American holiday coming up, there’s a new terror threat.

With another beloved American holiday coming up, there’s a new terror threat.

With another beloved American holiday coming up, there’s a new terror threat.