I’m taking Patricia out to dinner tonight, then putting her on a red eye back to Florida, and I’m going up to Mojave tomorrow, so probably light posting for the next day or so. To hold you over, though, read about the latest ground-breaking research in fish f@rts. Let the japery in the comments section commence!

From BBC World Service, “Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott has confessed to having had an affair with one of his secretaries. BBC British Affairs correspondent reports”
this story. A red letter day for affairs when they get their own correspondent.

…to destroy the earth. Just in case you want to…you know…destroy the earth.

For those who actually haven’t given it that much thought, it turns out that it’s not as easy as it sounds.

Don’t do these things in an interview.

[via Geek Press]

Iowahawk has outsourced his blog to Bangalore.

…proving she’s not a nutcase, to Congressman Kingston:

I am not a nutcase and I am not an unpatriotic war criminal like you and others who still support the most failed presidency in the history of our country …

See, right there, she says so herself!

You couldn’t make this stuff up.

…proving she’s not a nutcase, to Congressman Kingston:

I am not a nutcase and I am not an unpatriotic war criminal like you and others who still support the most failed presidency in the history of our country …

See, right there, she says so herself!

You couldn’t make this stuff up.

…proving she’s not a nutcase, to Congressman Kingston:

I am not a nutcase and I am not an unpatriotic war criminal like you and others who still support the most failed presidency in the history of our country …

See, right there, she says so herself!

You couldn’t make this stuff up.

Democratic leadership:

HARRY: …the first phase of our multi-faceted plan focuses on the number one key to restoring national security: getting Osama bin Laden. Even as we speak, this dangerous fugitive is still on the loose. As the leader of a Democratic majority in Congress, I will make sure that the head Army and Navy generals get a clear and unambiguous message: “Get Osama” is “Job One.”

NANCY: But it is important to do smart too!

HARRY: That’s right, Nancy. That’s why our tough, no-nonsense emails to the generals will include pictures of Osama bin Laden, so they will know who to get.

NANCY: But whats about disguises?

HARRY: Way ahead of you Nancy! Using state-of-the-art PhotoShop smart computers, we will create simulated pictures of Osama bin Laden wearing a mustache, soul patch, trucker hat, and so on, and these will also be included in our emails. Then, the generals will distribute the pictures to the soldiers, and they can then make a surprise attack at Pakistan and get Osama bin Laden, no matter his latest look. Imagine the looks on the terrorists’ faces!

I can’t wait until November, so I can vote for these people. They sound smart! And tough!

Democratic leadership:

HARRY: …the first phase of our multi-faceted plan focuses on the number one key to restoring national security: getting Osama bin Laden. Even as we speak, this dangerous fugitive is still on the loose. As the leader of a Democratic majority in Congress, I will make sure that the head Army and Navy generals get a clear and unambiguous message: “Get Osama” is “Job One.”

NANCY: But it is important to do smart too!

HARRY: That’s right, Nancy. That’s why our tough, no-nonsense emails to the generals will include pictures of Osama bin Laden, so they will know who to get.

NANCY: But whats about disguises?

HARRY: Way ahead of you Nancy! Using state-of-the-art PhotoShop smart computers, we will create simulated pictures of Osama bin Laden wearing a mustache, soul patch, trucker hat, and so on, and these will also be included in our emails. Then, the generals will distribute the pictures to the soldiers, and they can then make a surprise attack at Pakistan and get Osama bin Laden, no matter his latest look. Imagine the looks on the terrorists’ faces!

I can’t wait until November, so I can vote for these people. They sound smart! And tough!