By Calvin (sans Hobbs).
Category Archives: Humor
Iowahawk On A Roll
He has the scoop on the Imaginary-American march on Washington, and the discovery of the largest number in the universe.
More Obama Appointment Problems
They continue to grow, and Iowahawk has the exclusive:
The Chu hobo kerfuffle was the latest in a week-long series of Obama administration personnel imbroglis that have led to 36 White House resignations. Former HHS Secretary Tom Daschle and Chief Performance Officer Nancy Killefer saw their tenures cut short over tax issues, which continue to dog Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. Geithner is also dogged over dogs, after his failure to report over $14,000 in income from his backyard pitbull fight business. An earlier federal grand jury probe over an alleged 12-state outlaw motorcycle gang methamphetamine network forced Commerce Secretary designate Bill Richardson to resign before Mr.Obama’s inauguration. Labor Secretary Hilda Solis faces continued scrutiny over late taxes, lobbying, and involvement in a Tijuana car theft ring, while National Security advisor Samantha Power has received GOP criticism over her 2006 volunteer work as a sniper for the Taliban. Her boss, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, has yet to deliver a promised ‘full explanation’ after police discovered 11 Laotian prostitutes caged in the garage of her Chappaqua NY home. Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack faces increasing questions over his one-time membership in an all-white golf and satanic baby snatching club.
It’s hard to get good help these days.
“And Then The Fight Started…”
A collection.
Reefer Madness
I don’t blame Michael Phelps for apologizing. He has a living to earn, so he did what he had to do.
In the meantime, I merely note that this broken wreck of a man’s failure to win any more than a pathetic fourteen Olympic gold medals (so far) is a terrifying warning of the horrific damage that cannabis can do to someone’s health—and a powerful reminder of just how sensible the drug laws really are.
At any rate, now we know the real story of why he ate 10,000 calories a day…
Iowahawk On A Roll
I’m back in Boca, having a busy afternoon, but Iowahawk has been busy too. He has some multicultural wisdom, and tax advice from the new Treasury secretary. Also, questioning whether the new president took the short bus to the White House.
The Rogue Cotter Pin
Adventures in garage-door repair, with James Lileks:
I pushed it back into place, ran the door down, and discovered something: the end of a cotter pin that’s been there for nine years had managed to turn itself around 90 degrees so it plucked the edge of the sensor bracket as it travelled up. For a moment I felt like a prison warden discovering a six-mile tunnel dug with spoons and thimbles – you have to admire the effort, the ingenuity, the sheer determination. The pin was trying to escape. Day after day, year after year, it had been trying to pull itself out – but like escapees who run into a brick foundation from an old building razed decades before (why didn’t you tell us, Pops? I didn’t know! There was never anything there, not even when I came here in ’21!) it hadn’t counted on the sensor bracket giving the game away.
How could it have?
New Link Category
I’ve created a category called “Inadvertent Comic Relief.” It will contain links to sites that are serious, but hilariously and relentlessly stupid. The honor of the first link goes to perennial anti-military-space loon Bruce Gagnon. As an example, here he expresses his frustration that the Obama administration is going to do nothing to prevent those evil Anglospherians from colonizing the moon and terrorizing the moon people:
In Obama’s opening words he talked about the early vision of our “founding fathers”. He intends to remain loyal to the rich white men who dreamed of their own empire — one that would challenge England’s global power. An empire that would push the Native Americans from their land, ravage the Earth for its natural resources, and move overseas to terrorize and colonize people in Hawaii, the Philippines, Guam, Latin America, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, and ultimately the moon in the sky.
End the madness.
[Update a few minutes later]
I’ve also added another of my favorite whacko conspiracy mongers — Elaine Supkis (who also happens to be L-5 Society founder Carolyn Meinel’s sister).
Only 1461 Days To Go
…until the end of the Obama presidency. Maybe the time will fly while we’re having fun.
Jewish Pirates, Part Two
For those who have been waiting in anticipation, reader suggestions.