Again. Here’s an amusing Retweet Theatre on the subject. More extensive coverage of the expedition can be found here and here.
Category Archives: Humor
The Latest Stop On The Apology Tour
You may or may not be shocked to learn that, after hours at the Space Access conference, discussions took place, often with alcohol involved. One of the results is my latest piece at PJM, in which I report on the president’s attempt to repair our relations with the solar system.
Which One Are You?
Michael Malone has a commenter bestiary. Some of my commenters are combinations of his descriptions.
Cage Match
Who is the greater world leader, President Obama, or Dear Leader?
They describe Kim Jong Il as a “peerlessly great man” who is said to have the “organizing ability of leading millions of people” and is “the greatest of great men produced by heaven.” Similarly, Obama has been described in American media as “the agent of transformation in an age of revolution” and as “a lightworker — an attuned being.” CNN’s Jack Cafferty said, “It’s almost as though our president was born to do exactly what he’s doing.” Songs are written throughout North Korea to proclaim Kim Jong Il’s greatness, but there are also songs written to praise Obama, such as “Yes We Can” by will.i.am and “Personal Jesus” by Depeche Mode. Throughout North Korea, there are paintings of Kim so all can admire his poofy hair and leadership, and here in America there are posters of Obama and many paintings of him (often with him naked and riding a unicorn) so we can see his smile and be assured that everything will be alright. Furthermore, it appears that Kim has supernatural powers, as it is said that when he was born “frost exploded with the sound of firecrackers” and “lakes thawed with such a noise that it caused mountains to shake.” Not to be outdone, Obama said that when he was elected would be “when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.”
So both Barack Obama and Kim Jong Il are greatly admired by their people and are possibly magical demigods who exist for no other purpose but to lead us, but who is the better of the two?
It is a tough choice.
A New Nominee For Car Czar
Iowahawk nominates himself:
As such, I realize the industry is not suffering from a lack of law professors — it is suffering from a lack of imagination. They gave us cup holders and electric seat warmers when we wanted angel fur and bubble tops. They pushed micro-clown cars and hybrids when the market was rife for chromed 8-deuce Chrysler Hemis. Well, Bucko, all that outmoded thinking is going to end during the reign of Czar Dave. Saving the American auto industry is going to be a big job, but I won’t be doing it alone. I have already appointed my own shadow Council of Automotive Advisors, a select group of successful auto manufacturers whose qualifications appear after the jump. Many are close personal friends of mine, and I can attest to their patriotism, integrity, ingenuity, and wonderful lack of law degrees.
Why not? We could do worse. And almost certainly will.
And as you can see, his advisory council is without peer. I particularly like the discreet tasteful town car to get him to important meetings in our nation’s capital.
Next, The Iliad
If Homer’s Odyssey had been Twittered.
The Journochat
Iowahawk has managed to penetrate the Journolist, and found a copy of the latest chat session:
SPENCER ACKERMAN: did katha leave?
MATTHEW YGLESIAS: yeah
SPENCER ACKERMAN: shes a total bitch but she’s right… none of the hot media girls will hang out with us
EZRA KLEIN: i/k, but i don’t get it… i know i used to have kind of a complexion problem but it cleared up after i started using ProActiv
CHRIS HAYES: i/k a couple of us are a little chubby but were all pretty cute and it’s not like we wear gross clothes or anything
SPENCER ACKERMAN: ya but the only girls who will talk to us are ugly av club lepers like katha and jane hamsher and amanda marcotte
EZRA KLEIN: dont forget the two naomis
MATTHEW YGLESIAS: ewwwwww
JOSH MARSHALL: sometimes i really hate my body… does anyone know any good fast diets?
ERIC ALTERMAN: dont fall in that trap josh… read the article in the May Teen Utne about dealing with body image
MATTHEW YGLESIAS: idk if im ready to really be with a girl
KATHA POLLITT has entered the room.
KATHA POLLITT: this is katha and jane and amanda!! we are at amandas house and we have been reading EVERYTHING you boys said!!!! F/U!!! i hope your happy, jane is crying in the bathroom!!!
EZRA KLEIN: oh s**t sorry
KATHA POLLITT: tell it to jane you JERK-O-LIST AZZHOLES!! And guess what ezra?? I have a screen cap of the whole thing!!! I bet mickey kaus will be interested in seeing it!!!!
EZRA KLEIN: come on dont do that katha
KATHA POLLITT: too late ezra, and you can write ur own f**king blogpost for 1st period. FTW!!!
KATHA POLLITT has left the room.
MATTHEW YGLESIAS: faaaaack
EZRA KLEIN: we’re screwed
JOSH MARSHALL:
Highlarious.
You Know They’ve Gone Too Far
…when they’ve nationalized Iowahawk:
The legislative charter of the TWRA, established by Congress and the President, specifies its principle goal as the preservation of jobs in the critically important blogging sector of the American economy. Thus the board invited Mr. Burge to present a formal proposal on March 11. After a brief negotiation period, Mr. Burge’s initial request of $6.3 billion was lowered to a mutually agreeable $750 and cab fare to the Greyhound station. In exchange, Mr. Burge agreed to (1) regularly submit the financial records of Iowahawk to TWRA oversight regulators, (2) cease outsourcing joke production to foreign subcontractors, and (3) implement a rigorous program of personal hygiene.
Well, at least they didn’t force a merger with Saturday Night Live.
Why I Read Lileks
For grafs like this:
I bought some taco shells before leaving; the clerk, an immense creature who resembled a six-foot soft-serve ice cream treat, asked howr you. I said “damp.” She gave me a look of such unbelievably bovine incomprehension I almost apologized for not saying “fine.” It was almost a warning: don’t get fancy. We don’t take to fancy here. That’s one of the reasons I don’t go to that grocery store anymore. They hired the clerks from the cast party of a Fellini movie and ran them through a Hee-Haw filter, then eliminated the ones who were so antisocial they had fewer than three tattoos of their children’s names on their arms.
I can’t wait to see the novel.
The JournoList, Revealed
Pardon me the schadenfreude, but I just can’t stop laughing at these links.
Don’t pull on Superman’s cape, and don’t…mess…with the Mickey. And I don’t mean mouse.