All posts by Rand Simberg

Live Or Memorex?

People have been saying that the Osama home video couldn’t have been done by Hollywood, because the quality is too poor. But that just proves how clever those Zionist film producers are–they knew that if they did it too well, that many would suspect that it was a forgery, so they deliberately did it badly…

By the way, I thought that that I’d seen the ultimate in pathetic koolaid drinkers during the OJ trial and Clinton impeachment, but these people they have to dredge up to defend Moussaoui et al raise the pathos to new heights. They just had a woman on Fox News being grilled by Linda Vester. “Anyone can take flying lessons–is that a crime?” “I have seen no proof that he was being sent money.” etc.

Splitting The Difference

Reader Andy Freeman opines via email:

The phrase “northern CA” is geographically unfortunate. The real dividing line in CA runs north/south, between the coast and the rest. (SF is really just LA with hills and the smugness born

of inferiority and backwards-looking.)

Hmmmm… I suspect you’re in for a lot of angry hate email from the Bay-Area types. Lucky I didn’t provide your address…

Sacramento’s problem is that it is a capital of a state that includes LA, SF, SJ.

True, but that’s true of any state with both rural and big-city areas. You could say that Albany’s problem is that it is a capital of a state that includes NYC, or Lansing’s problem is that it is the capital of a state that includes Detroit. My point was just that–that people’s lives in the hinterlands are run by bureaucrats and legislators elected by the cities. My problem with doing an east-west split is that I like the northern coast (above Bodega Bay). Actually what would make the most sense to me is a southern coastal California (dominated by San Diego-LA metroplex), a Central Coastal California (managed by the Bay Area), an inland California (consisting of the deserts and the Sierra) and a true northern California. Then you’d have two city states, and two rural states.

Convenient Technology Limits

At some point, I was going to get around to commenting on Tony Andragna’s unjustified skepticism over our technical ability to defend ourselves against missiles, but Will Vehrs beat me to it in the same archive.

Many look at the test failures (and ignore the successes) so far and conclude that it’s Just Too Hard.

That’s extremely myopic. If we’d had the same attitude early in the missile program in the late fifties, we would have neither missiles nor a space program–launch failures were a regular and discouraging occurrence (remember post-Sputnik panic from the book, “The Right Stuff”? “Our rockets always blow up”).

Most technical arguments against missile defense (by people like Dick Garwin, Kosta Tsipis, et al) are of the form:

Here is how I think a missile defense would work (i.e., set up strawman).

Here are all the problems with this scenario, and what I believe to be trivial countermeasures.

I’m really smart, and if I can’t think up ways around these problems, neither can anyone else (thereby knocking the straw out of the man).

While there have been some sincere, and even good arguments against missile defense, most are of the disingenuous variety described above. Will’s right–if we can land a man on the moon, we can (eventually) defend ourselves against missiles. We can quickly come up with a defense against North Korean missiles. It would take a little longer to come up with a defense against Chinese, or even Russian missiles, but we can do it if we need to. The Soviets knew this, which is one of the primary reasons that they threw in the towel. Ultimately, defense is favored in economic terms for two reasons. The first is that for any intelligently-designed system, the kill vehicle is cheaper than the offensive warhead, on the margin. The second is that, even if this is not the case, and the marginal costs of defense are greater than the marginal costs of offense, we’re a lot richer than our adversaries, and will remain so for some time, so we can afford to outspend them–it’s still cheaper for us in terms of percentage GDP. Again, the Soviets recognized this.

It should also be noted (as Don Rumsfeld did the other day) that while there are game-theoretical arguments to be made for both cases (that defense will encourage an offensive arms race, and that defense will suppress one), the empirical evidence is in. For the thirty years that we had the ABM treaty, missile inventories were growing like mushrooms after a spring rain, unchecked by ABM treaties or (on the Soviet side) even by arms-control treaties. But in the past few years, and particularly in the past year, despite, or more likely because of, all the talk about scrapping the ABM treaty, we are reducing inventories.

But whether or not it will defend against a Russian onslaught is not a relevant issue to current decisions. Regardless of one’s view of its morality (mine is dim), an argument can be made that MAD is stable in a bi-polar world. Such an argument falls apart in a multi-polar world, and it just becomes a matter of time until some dictator with bin-Laden ethics and intelligence (re: intelligence–that’s not a compliment) flunks Game Theory 101 and decides to lob something at us. In such an event, just as with the gun-control debate in general, as an engineer, I’ll trust hardware over paper every time.

And Will, the actual expression, post Apollo, among space policy enthusiasts is “If we can put a man on the Moon, why can’t we put a man on the Moon?” Realistically, right now it would take us longer to put a man on the Moon than it did in 1960 (at least as a government effort). It’s not because we don’t have the technology…

Osama’s Friends The Afghans

More Afghan unhappiness over being colonized by Arabs is expressed in this article from the Boston Globe.

When Kandaharis first got used to seeing Arabs in their city several years ago, he said, ”we thought they were just mujahideen [anti-Soviet holy warriors], innocent people. Then when we heard our new government was called `The Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan,’ we knew it had become the country of Osama bin Laden.”

Shah Wali, a 21-year-old neighbor who memorizes the Koran at a religious seminary, shook his head when he was shown a paper calling for war by all Muslims against all non-Muslims. ”Even if they say this is a jihad [holy war], why didn’t they do it in their country, Saudi Arabia,” he asked, ”instead of ruining ours?”

I don’t recall an explanation of this in Osama’s video. I also didn’t hear him asking “Why do they hate us?”

The article also discusses a lot of evidence discovered of generalized plans for terrorist activities over here, along with an inventory of US naval assets and locations.

Osama’s Friends The Afghans

More Afghan unhappiness over being colonized by Arabs is expressed in this article from the Boston Globe.

When Kandaharis first got used to seeing Arabs in their city several years ago, he said, ”we thought they were just mujahideen [anti-Soviet holy warriors], innocent people. Then when we heard our new government was called `The Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan,’ we knew it had become the country of Osama bin Laden.”

Shah Wali, a 21-year-old neighbor who memorizes the Koran at a religious seminary, shook his head when he was shown a paper calling for war by all Muslims against all non-Muslims. ”Even if they say this is a jihad [holy war], why didn’t they do it in their country, Saudi Arabia,” he asked, ”instead of ruining ours?”

I don’t recall an explanation of this in Osama’s video. I also didn’t hear him asking “Why do they hate us?”

The article also discusses a lot of evidence discovered of generalized plans for terrorist activities over here, along with an inventory of US naval assets and locations.

Osama’s Friends The Afghans

More Afghan unhappiness over being colonized by Arabs is expressed in this article from the Boston Globe.

When Kandaharis first got used to seeing Arabs in their city several years ago, he said, ”we thought they were just mujahideen [anti-Soviet holy warriors], innocent people. Then when we heard our new government was called `The Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan,’ we knew it had become the country of Osama bin Laden.”

Shah Wali, a 21-year-old neighbor who memorizes the Koran at a religious seminary, shook his head when he was shown a paper calling for war by all Muslims against all non-Muslims. ”Even if they say this is a jihad [holy war], why didn’t they do it in their country, Saudi Arabia,” he asked, ”instead of ruining ours?”

I don’t recall an explanation of this in Osama’s video. I also didn’t hear him asking “Why do they hate us?”

The article also discusses a lot of evidence discovered of generalized plans for terrorist activities over here, along with an inventory of US naval assets and locations.

So, Which Faith Will They Raise It In?

Now that we have the bourbon/rum war behind us, back to more serious matters.

I have to broaden my space policy browsing beyond the mundane sites like space.com, spacedaily.com and nasawatch.com. Because I don’t regularly read the Weekly World News, I almost missed this important story that NASA has been trying to cover up.

One of the ISS astronauts has knocked up a space alien. Yes, I know, it seems improbable–the genetics probably wouldn’t work out. That’s what they thought, so they didn’t bother to use any protection. It could have not just transterrestrial, not just interglobal, but interstellar diplomatic repercussions.

“This is a potential public-relations disaster,” says the space agency insider, who leaked an eye-popping photo of the expectant E.T. to Weekly World News.

“We’re out there trying to convince our friends in the universe that we’re a mature species ready to accept the responsibilities of interstellar flight. Then this happens and it looks like we can’t keep our spacesuits zipped up and our hands off their women.”

It seems like a very foolish career-limiting act for the unnamed ‘stro. From the pics shown here, I would have been able to keep my hands (and other appendages) off her, no prob. De gustibus non disputandam…

Demon Bourbon

Some have suggested that I may have been a little intemperate (so to speak) in my correctional remarks to Professor Reynolds concerning the true national beverage. Well, perhaps, but the man insulted my chosen method of inebriation. Never do that, particularly when I’m inebriated. And he didn’t insult just mine, but that of every right-thinking American. And I thought that my comments were actually quite moderate–being a born’n’bred Yankee, even after a hundred and thirty six years, there are many phrases with which I could have replaced the words “from Tennessee” that would have ultimately parsed to the same meaning, but been freighted with much more derogatory connotations. I won’t elaborate further, because this is a family web site.

And in fact, his verbal faux pas wasn’t just against the manhood of the nation at large–I won’t be shocked if his fellow Volunteers don’t ride him out of Knoxville on a rail for more local, parochial reasons after his ill-considered comment. After all, just what is it that Tennessee is known for (aside from that country caterwauling from Nashville, and Graceland)? What is it they brew just down the road from Knoxville, in Lynchburg? It ain’t bourbon, that’s for durn sure. Bourbon is from (ready for this?) that den of all that is unholy, just to the north–KENTUCKY!

And as to his mistaken notions of what real Americans drink, just what was it again in those bottles that Carrie Nation was smashing, as she marched down Battle Alley with her ax? Hint: it wasn’t Demon Bourbon.

I invite the good Professor to do a google on “Demon Rum.” He will find that this phrase appears literally hundreds of times, as evidence of its long-standing role in promoting cameraderie, buccaneering, vital barroom pugilistic festivities, domestic abuse, and getting ugly people laid, throughout hundreds of years of American history, all the way back to the planters on the piedmont and pirates on the Spanish Main. Try a similar search on “Demon Bourbon,” and you’ll be lucky to find a reference to some wimpy guy in his white suit and string tie, rocking on his veranda, drinking his mint julep (no doubt with pinky extended as he sips), or Bourbon Street, which isn’t even in a true American city–we all know it’s really French (damned cheese-eating non-capital-punishing surrender monkeys).

Case closed.

But I will apologize for a couple of other comments–I was indeed overwrought. Based on years of experience and verbal intercourse with him, I know that Glenn is not really a commie, closet or otherwise, and I have no verifiable information, one way or the other, concerning his nocturnal urinary habits (nor am I seeking any–it’s a lot more than I want to know), so I retract that as well.

However, I do expect him to now see the error of his imbibulatory ways, and hope that we can put this ugly little contretemps behind us…over a bottle of Bacardi 151.

Now Here’s A Real Find

An actual pan of LOTR appears at Ross Anthony’s (whoever he is) web site.

It’s definitely an epic undertaking, long with intermittent brazen fight scenes, sort of an “Apocalypse Now Junior.” Unfortunately, and unlike Scorsese’s masterpiece, the most profound thing about LOTR is its length. I had to use the restroom at the two-hour mark, and frankly enjoyed the break. Nor does LOTR deliver a payoff to its patient audiences.

Apparently he has a short attention span, or a weak bladder or both. Of course, his credibility is not enhanced by the fact that it was not Scorcese, but Francis Ford Coppola who directed “Apocalypse Now.”

I still want to see it.

[Update]

Somebody apparently fed him a clue–he’s since done a s/Scorsese’s/Coppola’s/ at the site…