They need a lot more talk about sex.
Learning about sex from porn makes for an awful lot of terrible sex, particularly for women.
They need a lot more talk about sex.
Learning about sex from porn makes for an awful lot of terrible sex, particularly for women.
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Learning about sex from porn makes for an awful lot of terrible sex, particularly for women.
I trust you’re not speaking from personal experience here, Rand.
I’m not, with regard to sex, but I’ve seen porn that would have that effect, and I’d imagine it’s not untypical.
Boys don’t talk about things any deeper than sports or TV. Girls have extensive support systems and endlessly talk about everything pre and post-game.
Annie Sprinkle had a series of vidyas teaching you how to do various “things” pertaining to sex. Maybe boys need the same thing, ala Sex 101. Nothing advanced, but the basics.
Boys don’t talk about things any deeper than sports or TV
They may not “talk” about other stuff, but they’ve got something the girls don’t have: dirty jokes. Frequently featuring sexual themes.
Said dirty jokes don’t teach anything beyond getting a laugh. Girls get detailed and graphic information/feedback from their girlfriends.
When men set up things like this, they are relentlessly attacked as incels, misogynists, predators, ect.
particularly for women.
Don’t worry, Teen Vogue is on the case.
Couldn’t get past the first question about how men need to be women.
“Learning about sex from porn makes for an awful lot of terrible sex . . .”
Speak for yourself. Since neither of my parents wanted to give me “the Talk,” I learned the mechanics of sex from the sex ed classes in Catholic high school, and when I say “mechanics” I mean just that. It was about as exciting as “Tab A fits into Tab B,” but the purpose was not to make it sound exciting. My sex education really came from Ted Mark’s “Man from O.R.G.Y.” paperbacks, and then when the Porno Chic Era began, from the porno films of the 1970s. Not to brag, but according to women I have known, I seem to have learned my lessons well.
Not saying that you can’t learn good sex from porn, but it has to be good porn. For example, most women aren’t that into being choked, and I’d assume that when it comes to oral sex, they’d prefer to receive than give, or at least get some themselves. Here‘s a quick search result.
Teen men need to read Gail Sheehy’s “The Silent Passage” to understand why is turning down the thermostat in the house.
Huh? I think at least one, perhaps two or more words, got dropped.
Mom, dude, Mom. A guy who knows anything about the subject could have put back that missed word.
But then again, guys don’t, and they don’t want to talk about it.
I think a bigger issue is girls who watch porn and get a very distorted idea of what pizza guys and plumbers actually do for a living.
Boys need to learn how to cope with sexuality emotionally. They cannot learn that a) in a classroom setting, b) from people they do not trust closely, or c) from any female in this universe or any other. Point c) cannot be overemphasized; females do not know what males go through and vice versa.
When I had vaginal intercourse for the first time, the voice in my head sounded like a Benihana commercial: “Wow! I’m really doing it! If Mama-san could only see me now!” Of course, since I brought the nice girl home, introduced her to my smirking mother, and then took her to my bedroom, Mama-san was probably listening.
This whole business of men not being able to satisfy women strikes me as propaganda generated by neurotic academic women who probably never learned what their role in heterosexual sex is supposed to be like. That first girl, referenced above, was more experienced than me and pushed us into a position that allowed her to have an orgasm in what amounted to missionary position. Not every woman can, but it’s worth the effort to show the ones who think they can’t (the whole business relates to the distance between the clitoris and vaginal introitus, combined with taking the trouble to locate the woman’s cervical os). These are things any goofy teenage boy can observe. Anecdotally, I think most do.
The whole article is BS, start to finish. The anecdote about the guy quitting using porn to masturbate, to the astonishment of his friends was ridiculous, and probably a lie. When I was 12 or 13, if I thought about my willy, I’d get an erection, and if I continued thinking about it, I’d have an orgasm. No imagination needed.
As for porn, it has many sub-genres, and most boys prefer girl-on-girl, because they don’t want to see a guy whose willy is twice the size of theirs. And from that porn they learn: a) Anything a lesbian can do for a woman, a man can do for a woman, and b) there’s one thing a man can do for a woman that no lesbian can.
Read Kate Millet’s novella *Sita* for an illuminating discussion of same from the POV of a lesbian in an abusive relationship with a bisexual woman.