Iowahawk has the buzz on next year’s Hollywood hits:

Cold Humpcrack Creekwater: Two retarded Gay cowgirl sisters (Rene Zellweger, Jenna Jameson) defy a fundamentalist sherriff (Hovercraft Phoenix) and discover love in this 1930’s period piece set in the Appalachian outback of Nebraskansaw.

Snow Fuji Mountain: Mothra (Toby Damon) and Gamera (Orlando Law) discover forbidden love while destroying Tokyo, in this story of nuclear-triggered sexual awakening.

Angel Soft This: In a shocking and sometimes humorous indictment of the toilet paper industry, filmmaker Morgan Spurlock documents the ravages he suffers after 30 straight days of non-stop buttwiping.

Go read it–there are more.

Also, if you missed it last week, Al Zarquawi was live blogging the Iraqi elections:

Okay, this is starting to suck bigtime. I finished writing thank-you notes to the donkey boys’ families, so I switched on the tube to catch CNN. Mohammed H. Prophet, can’t they run anything but bad news? “big turnout,” “carnival atmosphere,” “jubilation” … I mean, WTF? So I Khalid switched the satellite to BBC, and it was even worse. For f**k sake, it’s almost 5 hours ’til Keith Olbermann and I couldn’t take that gloom and doom shit any longer, so I fired up the browser and checked some of the dhimmi sites.

Holy dung, WTF? It’s like a bizarro world where people – even chicks – are voting, and they completely freaking chose to ignore it! Helloooooo, dhimmis, isn’t this is the same goddamn system that gave you George Bush?

Warning: wild donkey love involved.