Andy Borowitz has one for CBS News. It’s probably an unfulfillable dream, though.

“After a full investigation of the events leading up to the broadcast of this story, we have concluded that idiots were responsible,” said network spokesman Palmer Gravinese. “Consequently, under a new policy of CBS News, idiots will no longer be permitted to participate in the gathering or production of news at CBS.”

Adding that the network appeared to be “riddled with idiots,” Mr. Gravinese said that CBS had set 2006 as a target for the broadcast giant to be completely idiot-free, but cautioned, “We realize that’s an ambitious goal.”