King of all spills. And the hero who saves the day:

NARRATOR
This is the teaching laboratory of Baraku Obamasawa, Japan’s greatest living scientist. A world renowned expert with an advanced degree in social engineering from Hokkaido Law School, by the age of 23 he had already written 2 textbooks on the world’s strangest phenomenon — himself. His is a scientist so advanced that he has already earned a Nobel Prize for work he has yet to begin. Today, he is showing students his latest discovery.

OBAMASAWA
… now note as I apply a blowtorch to this pile of 10 million yen, it is converted to ash — thereby creating jobs for these two janitors from the Nippon Custodian Union.

students applaud wildly

STUDENTS
Domo arigato, sensei! We are very honored to be your students. [giggle] You have given us hope and tingles up our kimonos!

Don’t miss a single exciting minute.

[Update a few minutes later]

Warning: the puns are awful.