Humor, Political Commentary, Satire

The New British Coalition

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Now this is what I call compromise:

There were some objections to the deal from the Sheriff’s assistant, Sir Guy of Gisbourne, who was reportedly unhappy with the idea of getting into bed with men in tights. However, he was quickly rebuffed by the Sheriff: ‘We have moved on from our old ‘nasty’ image of yore,’ he said, ‘people need to understand that the Sheriff’s Men are now a modern, progressive movement dedicated to promoting a caring, liberal and inclusive reign of terror.’

Many of Mr Hood’s supporters were hoping for a so-called ‘Rainbow Alliance’ of Friar Tuck, Maid Marian and Little John. However, negotiations quickly fell apart because everyone thought that Little John was a tedious, self-opinionated twat.

Yes. Well, he was.

3 thoughts on “The New British Coalition”

  1. Heh.

    After seeing another ad last night, I finally took to the internet today to search for the thought in my head: “Robin Hood is Gladiator 2”. I was unsurprised to find I wasn’t the only one who made the connection.

    I was also somewhat surprised, though less and less surprised, to see reviews of the trailer excoriating the movie, not for being Gladiator 2, but for ignoring the original Robin Hood story, because:

    With unrepentant financial institutions back in full force, and Washington refusing to regulate Wall Street’s extravagance, we could use a hero who steals from the rich, gives to the poor, and thumbs his nose at the law. But we’ll leave it to Oliver Stone to give the titans of finance their comeuppance in Wall Street 2, because that’s not how Universal seems to be marketing Ridley Scott’s upcoming Robin Hood, starring Russell Crowe.

    Never mind, of course, that the antagonist is a state-sponsored entity who is actively oppressing and enslaving citizens. But most of the people like the one who wrote that review above (again, based solely on a TRAILER, not an actual full-on movie), would prefer to see it as a tale of the good that socialism and communism can do. See also: popularity of Fern Gull, Dances with Wol, Pocaho, Avatar.

    Apparently, in the original script for this particular incarnation of the story, Robin Hood and the Sheriff were the same person, playing both sides. I think that would’ve made a much better (and likely more plausible) story.

  2. Apparently, in the original script for this particular incarnation of the story, Robin Hood and the Sheriff were the same person, playing both sides. I think that would’ve made a much better (and likely more plausible) story.

    Indeed, but that would have made it something more like “Demolition Man 2”.

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