Thoughts on the utility of international cooperation and law in the event of a transnational zombie uprising. This will be important once they start crossing borders.
[Update a few minutes later]
I’m compelled to believe that the first thing that this president would do is ask, “Why do they want to eat our brains?” and apologize to all of zombiedom for our previous imperialistic aggression against the undead.
I have to admit, having given it some thought, that I really can’t figure out what all the zombiemania is about. But that’s what I get for missing staff meetings…
1) Slam people for inhibiting the expression of Zombie culture.
2) Denigrate anyone who has the slightest issue with eating-humans-alive as so clueless, intolerant, divisive, and generally uncool that all right-thinking people should persecute them mercilessly.
3) Point out that Zombies are better for the planet than pets. Or people.
I’m a Zombist and damn proud of it. All they do is loiter about the city just making the place look disorderly and destitute. Can you imagine what that is doing to my land values? If a couple of zombies move into your neighborhood all they do is leave half eaten limbs in your front yard. Or, make that good awful moaning all night. I’m trying to sleep here you incorporeal assholes!
Heaven forbid you get behind one in the grocery store line. They take forever just sitting there staring off into space drooling green slime as they insist on paying with a check. Since their bloated and decrepit face no longer matches the once living occupant’s picture the sales clerk never accepts the drivers license as a formal form of ID. Then, the manager comes over and its all down hill from there.
Yep, them zombies just gotta go. I’m ready to go all maschalismos on their ass. I don’t have to accept no PC right to unlife bullcrap, no sir!
Balloon Boy–don’t get mad, get culinary! I know a great recipe for beer-battered brains and butternut squash! And to keep them off yer lawn, try setting out the brain salad. Yeah, it gets a little messy when they explode, but one big cleanup and the rest actually have the brains to stay away!
These are actually in a very silly anthology called The Zombie Cookbook. http://www.zombiecookbook.net if anyone’s interested.
Me? I’m just glad I’m on the coast. They can’t stand salt water, you know.
I dunno. I think zombies and international law are made for each other. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that half the staff of the UN is already made up of zombies. Or much of the State Department. Much of government in general.
Say…why do we assume President O would be one of us instead of one of them? Maybe the problem isn’t that he’s hiding a birth certificate, if you know what I mean.
Damn. Something’s scrabbling at the window. Hold on while I go take a look…
Waiting for the ACLU to seek injunctions and civil-rights prosecutions in the name of undead-Americans in 3, 2, 1…
(actually, it’d be more like the ACLU claiming that the civil rights of minorities are being trampled by Reclamation Squads who shoot black and hispanic zombies in numbers out of proportion to their representation in the population, and leveling claims of racial profiling)
On the bright side, zombies attending school would make the teachers’ lives easier.
Until lunchtime.
When you said “zombies” I thought it was another post on the Ares.
I have a lovely garden on my lawn to deal with zombies.
Great. Tranzis aren’t bad enough; now we’ve got tranzos to worry about …
Didn’t Iowahawk do that schtick already?
President Obama promised $100 million and the full resources of the U.S. government for what he said would be one of the largest relief efforts in recent history. U.S. officials said 30 countries had either sent aid or promised to do so. Rescue teams from eight countries were on the ground.