If Obama isn’t the next president, it will be because of America’s inherent racism. And if Hillary! isn’t, it will be because of America’s inherent sexism. It won’t, it goes without saying, be because of any inherent deficiencies in them as candidates that are independent of their melanin content or genital configuration.

And it’s guaranteed to be one or the other, because only one of them (if either) can win. And of course, if neither of them do, and another Rethuglican steals the election, it will be because we’re both racist and sexist. Because, you know, it’s always America’s fault.