16 thoughts on “Picard”

  1. I saw the first three episodes at a friend’s house a while back. I actually thought it was an interesting change from the old Trek, as the Federation turns out to be just as corrupt and incompetent as the UN and EU.

    I’m guessing the show probably turns to crap sometime after that, though.

  2. The scene opens with Data in the mess hall walking away from a replicator plate in hand. As he passes tables, crewmen start to gag.

    As Data sits down at the Captain’s table, Picard says, “Good lord, Data what is that awful smell?”

    “It’s a shit sandwich, sir,” replied Data brightly. “I overheard the show writers describing this week’s plot as a “shit sandwich”, so I thought I’d experience eating one,” he replied taking a large bite of the foul-smelling sandwich.

    Frowning Data said, “I wonder if it would taste better cold.”

    “Urp..” replied Picard, his face growing even paler than usual.
    Suddenly Data started grinning showing bits of brown poo between his teeth.

    “Ungh! Commander Data, why are you grinning?’ asked Picard. “A shit sandwich can’t be that tasty.”

    “Why Captain,” replied Data “this is my shit-eating grin!”

  3. I just finished watching the series with my free month of All Access, more out of obligation as a Trek fan than anything else. And to enable me to be critical of the show, hard to do that if I didn’t watch it. It was almost as bad as I expected it to be. My reaction to Picard playing Kevorkian was much like that of the articles author. Of course Brent Spiner is too old to play a never aging Data now but they could have made an appropriately aged “golem” body for him, there is no “in universe” reason Picard would not have insisted doing so. But who needs good writing when you have CGI, woke plots and nonstop action scenes. Isn’t that what Trek has always been about?

  4. I binged the entire “ST, Picard” 2 days ago.
    Getting towards the end, it was a toss-up between hoping Picard would finally assume room temperature or the super-synth aliens would wipe out organic life in the galaxy.

  5. Big OT fan. The first NG episode near the end of the Reagan administration references Ollie North, which not only took me out of the episode but the entire franchise. They’ve continued to move the goal posts until the program is now “our multicultural future”. Which is ironic because privileged class white people continue to be over represented in the cast, even if they do cover their faces with piles of latex.

  6. As a connoisseur of the new CBS Trek, which is like eating bugs on a weekly survival reality show, I think both Discovery and Picard will live on in college lectures about horrible screen writing. “How to destroy characters.” “How to destroy cannon.” “How to retcon what has gone before.” “How to piss off fans.” “Adding characters who don’t make sense.” “Telegraphing all the ‘surprises’ so nobody gets surprised.” “How make the viewers go ‘WTF?!'” The lectures would go on and on, filling up an entire semester.

    Picard feels like it was written by an under-achieving junior high student the night before the assignment was due, but like Disney’s Star Wars, Star Trek Discovery, and series 12 of new Doctor Who, it’s proved a boon for Youtube critics of woke culture, who produce gloriously outraged video reviews that are far more entertaining than anything the studios are putting out. I’ve been watching reviews from Critical Drinker, Overlord, Anna ‘That Star Wars Girl’, Nerdrotic, and many others.

    It’s also amusing to watch positive reviews from various other Trek sites, at least until you want to gag. After watching Anna, Nerdrotic, and others slice up an episode and dump it in the trash, the positive reviews sound like CNN talking heads desperately carrying water for Pelosi, Xi Jinping, and the Chinese communist party.

  7. I watched the original show in the 60s, when I was in high school (I thought it was better than Time Tunnel, I think). I watched the cartoon version with my son in the 70s, and sometimes my little brother (who was only a little older than my son). As for the rest… I guess I’d like to know why they changed the evil-hobo Klingons into black guys with snapping turtle shells glued to their foreheads.

    3. At least you watched the original show, which is probably more than any research the current writers did.

      Here’s Anna’s short review of Picard episode 5.

      She’s a treasure that gives me hope for the younger generation, and she’ll often stream for five or six hours with several hundred folks raptly watching because she’s so entertaining no matter what she’s doing. Viewers have to insist that she take pee breaks and go to bed.

        1. *snort* ^_^

          Ritalin heck, sometimes you’d think she must have found Pablo Escobar’s personal stash! But she only cranks it to 11 when she’s really pissed off by horrible writing, kind of like when you want to punch your TV.

          Like the other reviewers I mentioned, she’s anathema to the studios that keep churning out poorly-written virtue-signaling woke feminist dreck. I think she fell into the role because she was so outraged about Disney Star Wars. She grew up with the canon, going crazy for Star Wars at age four and growing up in a house full of sci-fi geeks. In her case, screaming that Disney’s new stuff “raped my childhood” is probably spot on.

          And heck, one night last week she was discussing shows, her artwork, her collection of action figures, and drinking way too much Bombay gin into the wee hours of the morning. What more entertainment could a nerd under lock down want? 🙂

          Nerdrotic is also really fun, but in comparison to Anna, a bit more William F Buckley. Frankly, I find all these reviewers way more entertaining than the shows they’re reviewing, but only because the shows are so bad that if they weren’t dissing them, I’d feel compelled to do it myself.

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