During the ongoing Iowahawk suspension / unsuspension / disunsuspension / strike crisis, I suspected that I and the other corporate “suits” at Iowahawk would pull out all stops to discredit me. But I never thought that I would stoop as low as to engage in a whispering campaign accusing me of treason against the United States of America. Sadly, this now appears to be the case. As we all know by now, a mysterious rocket powered missile was spotted over California today. Just as mysteriously, a new meme is appearing on Twitter, somehow linking this event with my recent alleged trip to California and subsequent suspension of myself.
Let me be clear. Yes, I was in California recently. And yes, during my visit I did spend last Thursday at XCOR Aerospace, a manufacturer of suborbital rocket vehicles in Mojave, at the invitation of renowned controversial science space blogger Rand Simberg.
And yes, okay, I sometimes enjoy playing with and/or driving rocket-propelled items. What of it? I have never sought to hide any of this from the public. But for anyone to somehow string these completely unrelated “facts” as evidence of some sort of bizarre master plan on my part to steal a rocket from XCOR and use it in a botched hold up of a Malibu liquor store, well, I mean, come on. That’s just crazy talk. The so-called “facts” being shopped around by Iowahawk’s corporate goons are as coincidental as the unexplained weekend break in and missing equipment at XCOR. If you ask me, the so-called “mystery rocket” was almost certainly fired by UN ships, seeking to enforce war crime sanctions against California for “The Kardashians,” “The Hills,” and “Real Housewives of Orange County.”
I am shocked that myself would suggest that I would be involved in a brazen military attack on what is arguably still part of the United States. At long last, me, have I no shame?
Not that I’ve ever noticed. Neither he nor him would last two minutes if either of them had any shame. And now he’s dragging me in as an accessory. At this point, a suspension without pay is far too lenient. He should be forced to start blogging again without pay.
Well, if you were a committed leftist, it would certainly lend credence to the treason rumors about Iowahawk.
I know we all like to bash the employer here. But come on. He’s libeling his employer on his employer’s very site. That’s wrong on so many different levels. At the least, he should have been man enough to post such things on his own site!
“He should be forced to start blogging again without pay.”
O_O
This is why both our rocket planes had ignition keys, not just start switches. Although the “Loud-Quiet” instructions on the throttles were probably still too much for Iowahawk.
Hmmm. As I recall, XCOR’s rockets are liquid, not solid. Therefore, that was someone else’s rocket. Hey, who in Mojave is missing stuff….?
When a supersecret libertarian illuminatti was sent on a similar mission, plans were shelved after discovering the keys were in the possession of the secret samarai warrior and even worse, she was guarded by the ninja hanger cat! We applaud the operative (Codename Iowahawk) for bravely facing these dire perils.
No pirates?
OK, that comment was too short.
No pirates?
Pretty soon the lawsuits will start flying, with Iowahawk suing himself (and of course, countersuing). I hope he wins.