…from Iowahawk:
Today, America still has a space effort, but sadly it just doesn’t inspire like it once did in the heady days of Apollo and Gemini. Unmanned probes and orbiting space labs are fine, I guess, but where is the glamor? Where are the crewcut astronaut he-men with names like ‘Deke’ and ‘Buzz’ and ‘Gus,’ driving around Houston in matching big block Corvettes and Ray-Bans? Nowhere, that’s where. They’ve all been outsourced by space computers and floaty-haired National Junior High Science Teacher of the Year nerds. You tell me — do we really want dorks like these as Earth’s first line of defense against invading intergalactic aliens? No wonder my brother and I have to be half-blotto before we play pretend astronauts anymore.
If America wants to get back on the right track, scientific space mission-wise, we need to once again pick an inspiring, audacious goal, and man it with the kind of inspirational crew to make it happen. At long last, let us realize mankind’s most cherished dream — sending the entire United States Congress to the Moon by 2010.
When I mention this proposal to my space engineering friends at Meier’s Tap, they are often skeptical. They’ll argue it’s impossible, that even NASA’s most powerful booster rockets never anticipated a payload of 535 people including Charlie Rangel and Jerrold Nadler. Look man, I’m just the idea guy, and I’m sure those details can be worked out. When John F. Kennedy first proposed going to the Moon in 1961, did you people expect him to already have a formula for Tang? The beauty of my proposal is that our Astro-Congress is already on payroll — and chock full of crisis tested problem-solving engineers. If they can take over the entire US auto industry and re-engineer the American heath care system in two weeks, surviving a Moon mission will be a snap!
If only he’d been elected president last year. I’d be space czar now.
The technical difficulty is much reduced if we don’t have to bring them back……
What did the moon do to deserve this?
Didn’t Jack Handey declare Jupiter an enemy planet in his deep thoughts?
Flush em’ down the great red spot.
Part of the problem is an overall lack of guys named Zeke, Gus or Buzz, anywhere in the country.
Not just the names are gone, those caliber of men are few and far between at any time, but seemingly non-existent now. Those men were forged in crucibles of hardship, study and work. We can’t have such MEN, when BOYS are raised to be selfish, greedy, and lazy. When ‘merican Idols, gay actors and ball players are idolized and military heroes, policemen and such are ignored or denigrated. You don’t get guys named Zeke, Gus or Buzz from universities that turn out anti-American indoctrinated dimwits who don’t or can’t read.
You don’t get guys named Zeke, Gus or Buzz from a culture where it’s all about “me”. From a culture where shared experience in general equates to idiotarian multi-player video games and Avatars, where communication is done 140 characters at a time. Guys named Zeke, Gus or Buzz don’t need or want such things as avatars to hide behind or foolish gamers roles to be played at. In a culture that worships play, image and “bling” over hard work, rewards and accomplishment, there is no pulling together for mutual benefit.
Guys like Zeke, or Gus, or Buzz just don’t exist anymore, and we’re all paying the price. I expect the great empires and civilizations of history who fell apart, were long on boys raised as that days Justins, Andrews and Tylers, and short on men named Zeke, or Gus, or Buzz. Guys named Zeke, or Gus, or Buzz came home WITH their shield, not on, or under, it.
Just one disillusioned man’s opinion.
Sharpen the Guillotines:
I suggest you come hang out at an engineering school like Georgia Tech for a while. I can’t speak for the rest of academia–it sounds pretty grim out there–but we’re still graduating men (and women) who value hard work, who realize that talk is not the same as action, and that if you don’t sweat the decimal places, the bridge will fall down. I think you’d be pleasantly surprised.
Heck, even our mascot is named “Buzz”! 🙂