Iowahawk does investigative journalism as only he can:

Melissa Browning, 34, is another funemployed L.A. single who has found new meaning in prostitution. After losing her job as a program coordinator for a non-profit Feng Shui education group in late March, Browning decided to go on a three-week interstate highway trek through the truckstops of central Arkansas with two friends, earning up to $30 per night while sleeping in tent-like yurts.

“I used to be so absorbed in the details of work, but prostitution has allowed me to come out of my shell,” Browning said. “Now it’s just so much easier for me approach new people, in idling semis, at 2 am. It’s just gives you such a positive pro-active outlook. I guess that’s why it’s called pro-stitution.”

Joining the world’s oldest profession has also given Browning the chance to reflect and contemplate. “Do we work to live or do we live to work? Do I have life goals that are not work goals?” asks Browning. “I guess what I’d really like to know is, who bogarted my meth?”

Both Martinez and Browning discovered that they like themselves better when they’re being consumed by hunger rather than their jobs.

“This is the best version of me,” Martinez said, adding that despite a distended belly and massive hair and tooth loss, she feels “completely healthy,” relaxed and focused.

“I used to talk a lot about living a ‘greener lifestyle,’ and now I’m finally doing it,” she said. “I’ve given up my car and I’m spending almost all of my time outdoors, surrounded by the beauty and insects of nature. And when I haven’t eaten in 4 or 5 days, I can look up into the sun and see angels. It’s very spiritual.”…

…After losing his job as ObamaSticker.com’s director of halo design, Smalley said he purchased a laptop and began gambling his 401k on internet poker from his parent’s couch, “which my dad doesn’t understand.”

“Everytime I lose a hand, my dad looks at me nervously and asks how much money I have left, or if I’m planning to eat him,” said Smalley. “I mean, come on, it’ll be at least 4 or 5 weeks before I get that desperate.”

And of course, they should be grateful to The One for their new opportunities:

“Recession is a great opportuning for people to get outside, enjoy a sunny park bench, and have fun,” said Robert Lester, a professor at UCLA’s Anderson School of Business. “And President Obama is making that kind of fun possible for more and more people every day.”…

…For many younger people, Dwight said, work is less central to their lives. According to her surveys, more and more young people are saying they are willing to trade off a high pay, high pressure job for one with flexible schedules and a lot of vacation time. “The new Admistration has been very responsive to that — just look at all the millions of new jobs with zero salaries and 52 week vacations,” said Dwight, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Colorado.

Happy days are here again.