Iowahawk has discovered the most exciting new car model to be premiered by Congressional Motors. Behold, the Pelosi:

Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM’s Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes — even in the choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet. Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard.

Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features thoughtful appointments like in-dash condom dispenser and detachable vibrating shift knob. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you’ll never miss a segment of NPR again.

I’m sure there will be a long waiting list.