Eugene Volokh (who I’m given to understand has a pretty tight pattern at the range) asks “why not at least arm the professors who want to be“? The argument is, as usual, comprehensive.

[Update a few minutes later]

Best comment so far: “You really want to arm Ward Churchill?”

[Update at 3:45 PM EDT]

Another amusing comment:

In order to reflect the hierarchy of faculty, there would have to be stratification:

Assistant Professors get muzzle-loaders

Associate Professors get semi-automatics

Full Professors get automatics

Adjuncts get a sharp letter-opener

Chaired Professors are irrelevant, since they never come to campus