OK, I’m busy, but never too busy to post something like this:

Former Judge Donald D. Thompson, a veteran of 23 years on the bench, is on trial on charges he used a p3nis pump on himself in the courtroom while sitting in judgment of others.

Over the past few days, the jurors have watched a defense attorney and a prosecutor pantomime m@sturbation. A doctor has lectured on the lengths the defendant was willing to go to enhance his s3xual performance.

The white-handled s3xual device sits before the jury box for hours at a time. Occasionally an attorney picks it up and squeezes the handle, demonstrating the “sh-sh” sound of air rushing through the contraption’s plastic tubing.

This has to be one of the most pathetic trials in judicial history.

I know you’ll be shocked to hear this, but the Freepers are having fun with this story:

“Approach the bench” has never sounded so scary.