With the upcoming onset of hurricane season in a few days, Dave Barry has some advice for residents (like him, and me) of the hurricane belt. I call this humor, because like most Dave Barry advice, it is, but it’s also a public service (albeit a futile one) for the irremediably clueless:

As you know, Florida Power & Light had some problems last hurricane season, when it was discovered that, because of an error in the engineering specifications, thousands of the company’s power poles were in fact really tall breadsticks. FPL has been working hard on this problem, and a company spokesperson states that this year, if we are struck by another Wilma-level hurricane, FPL personnel will immediately implement an action plan designed to provide all customers, as quickly and as safely as possible, with realistic-sounding excuses as to why their power will not be restored for an indeterminate period of time.