HARRY: …the first phase of our multi-faceted plan focuses on the number one key to restoring national security: getting Osama bin Laden. Even as we speak, this dangerous fugitive is still on the loose. As the leader of a Democratic majority in Congress, I will make sure that the head Army and Navy generals get a clear and unambiguous message: “Get Osama” is “Job One.”
NANCY: But it is important to do smart too!
HARRY: That’s right, Nancy. That’s why our tough, no-nonsense emails to the generals will include pictures of Osama bin Laden, so they will know who to get.
NANCY: But whats about disguises?
HARRY: Way ahead of you Nancy! Using state-of-the-art PhotoShop smart computers, we will create simulated pictures of Osama bin Laden wearing a mustache, soul patch, trucker hat, and so on, and these will also be included in our emails. Then, the generals will distribute the pictures to the soldiers, and they can then make a surprise attack at Pakistan and get Osama bin Laden, no matter his latest look. Imagine the looks on the terrorists’ faces!
I can’t wait until November, so I can vote for these people. They sound smart! And tough!