In this corner, we have a hot-blooded (though it remains unclear whether she was hot) Argentinian woman who stabbed her husband for not having s3x with her. And further north, in the Sunshine State, a man beats his male roommate to death with a clawhammer (and a sledge hammer–apparently he thought he really needed to be hammered) for running out of toilet paper.

I guess that there are some cautionary tales here, somewhere, but as that great philosopher, Homer Simpson, once said, sometimes there is no moral to the story. Sometimes it’s just a bunch of stuff that happened.